3 items tagged "relationship"

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Monogamous or open relationship

Open relationships are more common among gay men than among straights. Gays usually find it easier to discuss the topic: ‘What are we allowed to do? Where are the boundaries? How often can each of us do it with others? Will we still have sex together? Will we have someone else join us?’ You can also have a relationship without sex. All flavours are possible. And you can also ask yourselves: ‘What does “not having sex” mean?’ For many people, sex equals fucking. But cuddling is also a form of sexuality. It is not uncommon that partners who no longer fuck with each other still experience a lot of intimacy together. It can have real consequences if one partner in a monogamous relationship is a lot less interested in sex than the other. With an open relationship, you can compensate for such differences in sex drive by having sex with others.

HIV in your relationship

It can sometimes happen that someone finds out that he or she has HIV, while his or her partner does not. The impact of that news can be different in every relationship. Sometimes your partner can be a fantastic source of support, but the new situation can also be a source of tension. Most couples manage to work it out together. Sometimes your partner needs to get used to the idea, but HIV might also play only a small role if any. It could also be that your sex life will never be the same again and that your HIV will be a reason for ending the relationship. If you discuss your feelings with each other, you can take each other into account more easily. It could be that you feel guilty or that you feel unequal. It can be complicated if your partner has run a risk of getting HIV from you. Some people with HIV feel they have an extra responsibility to make sure their partner will not get HIV from them; others feel their partners have an equal responsibility in that regard. It is not uncommon for people to attribute their relationship problems to HIV. The real question is: how can you be sure your relationship would not eventually have developed the same problems, even without HIV?

Your relationship and sexuality

Hearing that you have HIV can turn your relationship into a roller-coaster ride.

If your partner doesn't have HIVrelaties
Do you feel guilty because you have HIV? Has your partner run a risk of getting HIV? Do you feel like you are on an equal basis with your partner? Are you taking extra responsibility to make sure you do not pass on HIV to your partner?

If your partner also had HIV
Is it possible that the one person got HIV from the other?

If you do not have a partner
Are you afraid that you will never find another partner now that you have HIV? Would you prefer to have a partner who has HIV or someone who does not have HIV? Or does that not make a difference to you?


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