Floor (37)

customer service representative at a bank
boyfriend: 7 years
children: 2 daughters (9 and 10)
HIV+: 4 years
HIV meds: 3 year
viral load: undetectable
CD4-cell count: 650

We’re linked to each other by the virus
I had an on-and-off relationship for a while; that was pretty tough going. When we’d broken up for two months at one point, he was seeing other women. After we got back together, one of those women rang him up to say she had HIV. It turned out my boyfriend had it too. I thought: I’m never ill, so it won’t happen to me. Still, I went to the doctor to get tested.

Just when I was supposed to call for the results, my boyfriend showed up at my door. I sat there with tears in my eyes and I didn’t know what to do about it. I was angry with my body and also with that woman my boyfriend had been with. But of course it’s not her fault. I thought: why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong? I should have made the decision to break up with him; then I wouldn’t have had HIV. But we do fit together well. The same thing could have happened to me as well. Ultimately, HIV has made our relationship closer. We’re linked to each other by the virus. It makes you not walk away from your relationship so quickly. We have gone through this together and we’ll solve it together.

I believe in fate. You learn from everything that crosses your path. First I thought: I may as well stop studying for a degree in addition to my job. But when I heard you can simply grow old with HIV, I decided to continue with the course. I no longer view HIV as something negative. My lifestyle is a bit healthier and HIV has taught me to live more consciously and to enjoy my life more. HIV has found a place in my life. I don’t think about it every day any more. I don’t find it confrontational to take my pills. In the beginning my heart would be pounding when I told someone about it. Now I just tell my story.


Hiv Vereniging Nederland

Eerste Helmersstraat 17


020 6 160 160

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020 689 25 77

For questions about living with HIV. Available monday, tuesday and thursday from 2 PM till 10 PM

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