Enjoying sexuality

HIV doesn’t have to keep you from enjoying sex. Sexologists have a rather technical way of describing how sexual enjoyment works. It often begins with being in the mood for sex. You want to have sex and you become aroused. But it is also completely normal it your appetite for sex comes only after you have become aroused. Your vagina will become moist and swell up slightly or you will have an erection. You might also have an orgasm as a ‘reward’. And afterwards it’s time to relax and catch your breath again.

When you talk to people who have known for a long time that they have HIV, it is striking how many of them talk aboutgenieten enjoying sex ‘normally’ and having ‘normal’ sexual problems. Of course HIV also plays a role in one’s sex life – that is what this booklet is about. But don’t let it become an obsession.

Not so often
I don’t manage to have sex very often. I have a job and two kids. I’m really just a normal woman. I guess this is going to sound like something you might read in a magazine for housewives.
Floor

Very sexy
The way a guy presents himself is incredibly important. I find masculine-looking men really sexy. A man needs to be funny and know how to seduce me.
Mark

Can’t just take it for granted
With my unpleasant sexual history, the idea of enjoying sex is not something I can simply take for granted. In the past, I would do whatever someone asked me to do. Now I think it’s time for me to enjoy!
Sanna

I want you right now
At the beginning of both of the relationships I’ve had, it was more like ‘I want you right now’. Later on there was a phase in which things got predictable with certain rituals. Then we started talking to each other about it: ‘How can we make it more fun?’
Ben

Different every time
If I compare my own sex life to that of other people, I sometimes think: ‘I hardly get any sex! My sex life is so boring!’ But I’m actually quite happy with the way things are. I really like the fact that sex is different each time. That has nothing to do with how big someone’s cock is; it has to do with how you feel, with who you have sex with and with how he responds to you. I am very much focused on the other person. That’s also what gives me the most pleasure.
Alexander

 

 

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